Sharon Smith, Marrickville
My first experience
of Tai Chi was about 17 years ago through a community college in Sydney's
deep west. Life intervened and I didn't continue with it - but it had
awakened a curiosity.
A friend told me about Ric's class about 2 years ago. Ric is a very
precise teacher, which my joints, alignment and posture have all benefited
from. Ric is also concerned with more than the outer 'dance' aspects of
Tai Chi - which I appreciate.
The shifts, for me, have been more than physical. Beyond the dance, I have
learned about myself.
Sent:
Monday, December 08, 2008 10:49 AM
Subject: Teaching
Westerners?
...and, btw, one of the
nice (and, at times, drives-me-potty) things about learning Tai Chi as a
Westerner is learning a different way of learning...
Sent:
Saturday, May 03, 2008 11:02 AM
Subject: yak
I was having fun
playing in the ‘spaces’ between styles – there is more ‘movement’ in them
than I had noticed before, LOADS in fact and a lot of ‘force’/’springiness –
Sent:
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 10:16 AM
Subject: Toe Curlings
Notes from this
morning's class;
* my right hip really really doesn't like Bow Arrow at the moment - when
it's the one taking weight - and especially not when the move is setting up
the left foot forward
* when I manage to uncurl my toes (!), there is a springy-ness underfoot -
the ground feels almost elastic, like a trampoline
* at first the sensation was like the sole of my foot disappeared and there
was only the ground and then it felt as if I had snow-shoes on - like my
feet extended beyond their physical size by about 6-8 inches all around each
one (still quite springy as above)
* 1/2 way below my navel I was aware of an expansion - like the front of my
pelvis was opening up - a little like a flower blossoming, or a ripple in
it's first forming - and then of a band linking the inside of my left hip
joint to the inside of the right
Sent:
Friday, May 18, 2007 12:49 PM
Subject: ‘aha’ addendum
And it was&is bigger
than this - I was&am the palms leaves lifting in the breeze and the red of
the bushes along the road - and they were&are also me...
I was&am the breath and heartbeat...
And still it was&is more than that...
It is&was quietly powerful...
It is&was expansive and expanding...
And today I notice that
there is something in being fully present /thoughtlessness (awareness) that
allows one to continue in the awareness of all of that - and the chatter in
our heads is the illusion that clouds that awareness and shuts the door on
it...
The 'art' is to be in
that awareness more constantly (perhaps even while I am thinking... (o; )
Sent:
Thursday, 17 May 2007 12:21 PM
Subject: ‘aha’ moments
It's funny the
sensations that happen when something flips from head knowing to Knowing,
innit?
This morning driving to
work (and listening once again to Voices of Gaia) it occurred to me that
there is no need for us to 'step into' elements (earth, air etc) 'cos we
*are* them already - in very real and tangible ways - we are earth, we are
air etc....
And then I felt dizzy and it was like the light went brighter (as happens
occasionally during class) - colours were more vivid and a man walking down
the footpath felt like a ripple that is me - and I am the same ripple that
is him... and the traffic felt more like I knew what it was going to and
when people were about to put their indicators on to change lanes etc. I
felt like I was the same as the road.... everything felt more obvious and
fluid... and I felt vast...
Sent:
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 11:01 AM
Subject: a few more things
What struck me was that
the 'trick' is to stay solid and connected in a way that is lighter than air
- to keep root while having lighter than feather touch/responding... and
then it ripples out... wow...
Sent:
Thursday, May 10, 2007 6:08 AM
Subject: { Surrender? }
"Birds make great
sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall and falling,
they're given wings"
~Rumi
Now THAT’S my
experience of surrender…
Sent:
Thursday, May 10, 2007 6:03 AM
Subject: Introspection+
AND I’d love to do more
on Tuesday;
* what you were doing with Gregor when I arrived (and what I’ve watched you
do with Holly)
* ‘follow your ...’ (that was amazing)
Sent:
Wednesday, May 09, 2007 8:54 PM
Subject: Introspection
For me, this journey is
about;
exploring/experiencing more the ‘deeper’ parts of Tai Chi – the parts beyond
the ‘dance’ – the bits that the surrender stuff hints at
exploring/experiencing what Tai Chi has to show/teach me about my ‘Self’ as
well as my ‘self’
exploring/experiencing the ‘healing’/balancing that is possible – (healing
the world begins with healing yourself (o: )
incorporating those lessons/experiences into my everyday interactions with
people and places (years ago I once prayed ‘make my life a prayer’ – it’s
still relevant) – to make it part of my walking and breathing – to be in
more constant awareness of ‘Divine’/’God’/’Spirit’
Looking inwards is a
part of looking outwards…
These are the things which come to my gut when I contemplate ‘stepping up’ –
they’re what I understand it to be
Sent:
Tuesday, May 08, 2007 5:40 PM
Subject: a few things
Some observations from
this morning;
* WOW! that was really
really different! I really really enjoyed that! :oD
* I was able to follow my left hand more easily and consistently (and with
no thoughts rattling through my head other than 'ha! how about that!'!) than
my right
* my attention wandered more with my right hand and I needed to keep
refocusing/drawing myself back from chatter in my brain more often - I could
hold it for a few repetitions and then I'd wander again...
* my hands know what to do all on their own!
* my feet followed my hands all on their own!
* my weight felt lighter on my feet - a bit like I was floating slightly
* when I left my house my right heel/instep was sore where it's been paining
for a while - it stopped hurting all through class and it is still not sore.
* .. Also, on this day , I am usually dragging myself around trying to keep
up with what I need to do with my day - today was quite busy - we're
interviewing for a position - and my energy was consistent and available...
* I mentioned the 'jittery' sensation to you this morning - it's why I try
not to drink coffee anymore.... but not this sensation - it was more like
being tickled – it was fun/a giggle... your choice of 'quickening' this
morning felt like the exact word for it!
Sent:
Wednesday, April 11, 2007 7:17 PM
Subject: Surrender?
I’ve been wanting to
tell you about an experience from the Saturday before last – I still don’t
have the words to describe it, though, here’s the best I have;
I learned that there is a universe of difference between ‘letting go’ and
‘surrender’
I spent most of class attempting to ‘let go’ of stuff that was happening for
me that was distracting and distressing… It didn’t work – it kept flashing
back into my head – I was chasing my tail and it was taking a lot of effort…
Then somewhere I gave up and just let it happen – it felt like I had fallen
over a big hole, but I wasn’t falling, more like floating, there was nothing
around me but space … it all washed over and around me like a wave and
grabbed my breath for a few moments…
And then it was gone and I was present again – and the struggle with it was
gone…
Sent: Monday,
March 12, 2007 2:32 PM
Subject: Random Thoughts
Sore feet?
About 2 months ago I bought a new pair of sandals 'cos my other ones (after
two years) are finally wearing out. Since I bought them, I had worn them
twice 'cos they didn't quite fit and turned out to be very uncomfortable to
walk in (they were probably a little too small/tight, and pushed my feet
back out of them over the heel)... Yesterday I put them on again and they
fit perfectly - and were actually a teeny bit too big across the top... I
walked around Hurstville in them with some friends and they were still
comfortable... so it appears that my feet have changed shape!
I drove to Griffith and
back on Thursday and Friday - my pelvis and lower back recovered much more
quickly than usual and were all fine by Saturday morning (it's previously
taken a week or two plus a trip to the osteopath). My right shoulder/neck
was fine by Saturday afternoon... YAY!
Sent: Monday,
February 26, 2007 12:58 PM
Subject: More
Randomness
Last Tuesday, when we
were doing the form together (in the early part while we were facing west),
I could feel an 'urge' to go faster. The sensation is a little
hard to explain. It wasn't physical, like being pushed, and it wasn't like a
mental anxiousness or anything like that. It was like being part of a
current - but not a physical sensation. So I just kept up with it
On Saturday I had an
'AHA!' moment... I started to have a stronger sense that all the things in
my last random email to you ARE, in fact, connected!
And then, while we were doing “Wild Horse Parts Mane” - my head began to
feel a lot like those scenes in movies where there are loads of 1 second
flashes of scenes from earlier and things then either fall apart or make
sense...and then I *knew* that they ARE all connected/the same thing...
Sent:
Saturday, February 24, 2007 8:31 AM
Subject: Random things+
A few weeks ago, you
indicated that "Earth flows into Air" – they’re connected and not separate.
Since then I’ve been exploring an awareness that I feel very comfortable in
‘Earth’ and in ‘Water’, and even in ‘Ether’.
Sent:
Friday, February 23, 2007 9:54 AM
Subject: Random things
Ø
Lately when you’ve said to me something like “very
good!” or “now you’re seeing it” (during class), I’ve been simultaneously
contemplating this quote;
“There is the thought, and then there is the knowing of the thought. And the
difference between being aware of the thought and just thinking is immense.
It’s enormous. Normally we are so identified with our thoughts and emotions,
that we are them. We are the happiness, we are the anger, we are the fear.
We have to learn to step back and know our thoughts and emotions are just
thoughts and emotions. They’re just emotional states. They’re not solid,
they’re transparent. One has to know that and then not identify with the
knower. One has to know that the knower is not somebody. Instead of finding
some solid little eternal entity, which is ‘I’, we get back to this vast
spacious mind which is interconnected with all living beings. In this space
you have to ask, where is the ‘I’, and where is the ‘other’. As long as we
are in the realm of duality, there is ‘I’ and ‘other’.”
Ø
{We experience confusion when we move from being
unconscious to consciousness}
Ø
I am beginning to notice more often that there are
lots of layers in each posture/progression. And that it’s hard to ‘see’ them
all at once – I can only concentrate on one part at a time – when I attempt
to shift my awareness to more, I can’t see any of them.
Sent:
Friday, December 15, 2006 10:36 AM
Subject: Masters
‘Until you can bring forth a flower,
Breathe life into that which is dead,
Summon or subdue the elements,
Transport yourself through time and space,
And heal with a single thought,
a single touch,
Can you call yourselves Masters?
And long before you achieve these things,
Titles shall become meaningless to you,
and you will come to understand.’
Sent:
Thursday, June 29, 2006 10:04 AM
Subject: more stories
This morning someone 'cut me off' and I got angry...my head rattled on with
lots of chatter about how what they did was stupid and that they were stupid
and how some people need to learn to pay attention when they're driving -
blah blah blah....
After a few moments of this, I noticed something somewhere go 'anger – fire
energy' and my body go 'oh!' and then it left... I could feel the energy of
the emotion - a bit like a vapour - leaving my muscles and skin - I hadn't
realised how tense my muscles had been while I was busy being angry...and
then I felt good about the world again...and then I understood! - how my
mind can trap energy by holding on to it/blocking it's movement...
So what comes first - the thought or the energy? I think - energy is
constantly moving and balancing, and our thoughts interfere with that
free-flow... we can just notice it and let it move through or we hold
it/focus on it which blocks it and then we feel that energy blockage in our
bodies (as tension, or elation, or whatever...)
Sent: Sunday, June 25, 2006 8:15 PM
Subject: Some stories
I’ve had a bit of a radical turn-around in my diet for the last 4-5 weeks
and I’m eating MUCH better than I have for a very long time…the upshot of
that is that I’ve felt less claggy and lethargic and MUCH more interested in
moving (goodness knows I could hardly have moved much less!)…the upshot of
THAT is that I’ve been walking more than I have for an equally long time AND
I’ve even been enjoying it! (rather than dragging myself to and from the car
and then plopping myself down somewhere to await the next trip to the car….bleuch..).
As
I’ve been walking, I’ve been noticing that my knees really don’t like my
boots very much (they have a small heel – about 1½ inches?) – time to get
some new winter shoes! I’ve also noticed that I have a tendency to roll my
right ankle out and my left ankle in when I walk – I notice my weight on the
inside of my left foot and the outside of my right…
Last Friday I was visiting my brother. Rather than catch the bus home as I
normally would, I decided to walk home (which, the way I walk, took me an
hour). It was late and dark (funny that, being night and all!) and it was
raining and a little chilly (I was rugged up and felt cool but not chilled)…
about 1/3 of the way home I crossed a road. Half way across my right foot
found the edge of a small hole in the tar and my ankle rolled. A few VERY
quick steps and a teeny bit of panic later I was on the other side of the
road and still upright! AMAZING! But it HURT! I’d twisted and jarred my
right ankle, knee and hip as well as my back. I must’ve done some pretty
spectacular acrobatics! A few minutes later the pain subsided and I was able
to continue walking… a few minutes after that, I felt no discomfort at all.
I got up yesterday morning and felt no after-effects. I walked to catch the
bus and then walked the length of Glebe Point Road to class – still nothing
noticeable. About ½ way through class, all the joints began to ache – just a
little - as well as the outside of my right calf and especially my hip and
lower back. Today it’s been my lower thoracic (on the right) and the outer
part of my ankle (where it rolled). On the walk home from the station
tonight (about 30 minutes) the inside of the arch on my right foot was
really sore – I had to stop a couple of times, it hurt so much… but it
stopped completely about 5 minutes from home and was replaced by a dull ache
in the soft part of the inside of my foot between my heel and ankle. As I sit
and type this, it’s my hip and back. I figure the Tai Chi has pushed the
injury out so now I’m feeling it! My poor right side… always in the wars…
and my knee was doing so well and everything. It’s not excruciating now,
just a very dull ache… it’ll probably pass in a day or so – it *was* a bit’ve a tumble in the cold…
I was sitting on the train coming home
from work tonight humming a song I’ve had rattling around in my brain all
day (Afterglow by INXS – I think it’s very pretty) – you know how that
happens when it’s the last one you hear… Sometimes, when that happens and I
have some ‘down-time’ (like sitting on a train) I shut my eyes and go with
it and feel myself moving with the song (even though I’m not actually
physically moving )… this one feels swirly… a crescendo swirls out and I
held my arms out and then it swirls back in and I found myself in a Tai Chi
stance – HA! that made me giggle.
Sent:
Saturday, June 03, 2006 4:23 PM
Subject: Yay!
Remember that I had complained that my right knee had begun to play up
again (old problem), that I was having problems with stairs again and that it really
really didn’t like the dip bit at the (“Snake Creeps”) thing? It was a
‘watch out or you’ll break it’ kind’ve pain…
I’ve been practising that move for a few weeks to try and find the way of
doing it that doesn’t produce pain and trying to get habitual with my
toe/knee alignment, but not much had changed – it still hurt regardless of
how I was doing it (unless I held on to something and went really slowly!).
I’ve been very worried that I’d tear something before it righted…
Anyway, today when we pushed you, something in my right knee really really
‘went’ and it really really hurt – but it was not a move that usually hurts
– I can walk forward without any bother, usually… It was as I stepped up and
it threw me a bit so that when we were in contact my whole body felt out of
whack – like I might lose balance and collapse - and the contact didn’t feel
comfortable…
This afternoon while I was waiting for a client to change, I did the move
again – NO PAIN! And I was using different muscles (which don’t have any
strength in them at all so that was a bit tricky!!)… PHEW! I’ve done it a
few more times since and my knee feels a bit tired, but there’s still no
pain in the joint…Yay!
Sent: Thursday, December 01, 2005 2:27 PM
“WILD HORSE PARTS MANE”
You'll remember the bit where I was having trouble with which way...etc....
You'd showed us (again!) and I tried it again... and again... after a
few times, something shifted - it was HUGE.
The sequence flowed 'obviously' at last (!) and it was suddenly clear
and then - 'it' began at 'hold the ball' and built until the release at
the end of the 'move'.
It was like being in a vortex - with the energy of it building as I went
further through the sequence and my body felt swept along with it.
The first was VERY powerful and I felt dizzy and almost knocked off my
feet by it.
I could feel it rushing through and around my body - like being part of
a building whirlwind...
Miranda noticed my reaction and stood near the release point and said
she wanted to watch - I was worried that she'd end up getting the full
force of whatever the build-up was - I told her that I didn't want her
to stand there!
The next time through was not as dramatic, but this time I also had a
rush of heat (and, no, I am still NOT menopausal!) and needed to take
off my jumper...
Eventually - after a few more repetitions - the strength of it settled
down to gentle but it was still there and I still have an awareness that
there's potential there for it to be huge (I can feel it even just sitting
here typing about it!)...
Sent: Sunday, June 12, 2005 11:23 AM
Subject: RE: last Friday’s experience
I enjoyed the private class last Friday. I came away thinking 'THAT'S
IT!' I value working with this 'angle' of Tai Chi Chuan. I’ve been telling
people that part of my doing Tai Chi Chuan with you is because you (Ric)
actually connect with the 'energy' part of it - it's what attracts me to
your classes more than anything...
So there were a few interesting bits...
When I was following you there was an area at the top where I got stuck.
My body seemed quite happy to just do what it needed to do and then when
we got to that bit, it couldn't work out which way to go...Anyway, the
sensation was different to the one I had previously. Before, the sensation
was like I was pushing against a resistance, but that resistance was more
like putting the same ends of two magnets together. This time it was more
physical/anatomical - like the joint had reached its limits.
Then there was the balloon thing. (You enclosed my right wrist softly
with the insides of your fingers; and then my arm began to rise on its
own). I didn't know what was happening, just that I was going with it. And
I felt like that I could be a balloon - that if I lifted my feet off the
floor that I'd float. (I was actually about to lift my feet off the floor
when we stopped - the sensation was that 'real'). Since then, I've become
fascinated by Miranda's comment at that moment; 'You LOOK like you could
be a balloon!' - so it wasn't just my experience!
I don't have too many reference points to hang this experience on - just
that it's an 'energy thing'.
I'm resisting the urge to analyse it too much - just to experience it.
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